The official newspaper of the Ramaz Upper School

The Rampage

The official newspaper of the Ramaz Upper School

The Rampage

The official newspaper of the Ramaz Upper School

The Rampage

If I Did It: The Gianna Report

If I Did It: The Gianna Report

Let’s face it, dear reader — high school is hard. Homework, projects, and tests, oh my! It’s impossible to do it all. That is why I put together this list. For your convenience, child. Let me guide you toward a few test taking strategies that are guaranteed to work (or you get your money back). After all, finals are coming up…

  1. Ask your teacher! Who better to ask for help than the person who created the exam in the first place? Doesn’t your teacher always say they are there to help you?
  2. Ask your friend for help! This only works if your friend is sitting all the way at the other end of the classroom. And of course, shouting is a must. 
  3. Tape your note-sheet to the back of the person directly in front of you! Instead of taping a “Kick me” sign, use this much more effective technique to fly through your test. Bonus points if they are wearing a hood for quick cover-ups when the teacher walks by.
  4. Show up to your test room early and write your notes on your desk in the brightest pen you own! This one is pretty self explanatory. And the color is obviously to mark your territory. 
  5. Show up to your test room early and tape your note-sheet to the underside of your desk! They’ll never find it. It’s the perfect ploy for when you only have one sheet that you desperately need. 
  6. Bribe your teacher! This only works for a certain few, however. Rumor has it that Mr. Deutsch is very fond of cheese and world domination…
  7. After you get your test, lose it! I heard if your test gets lost, you automatically get an A!
  8. Have your friend learn Morse Code! What teacher wouldn’t be excited about a student learning new things? Just have them tap the answers out on the desk and the world is your oyster! Warning: This technique does not work if your friend didn’t study either. In addition, you must also know Morse Code for this method to be effective.
  9. Get a Neuralink chip implant! Practically undetectable and super neat! It may be a tad expensive, but it’s Ramaz! Pro tip: When using it to access ChatGPT, please make sure you don’t accidentally add “As an AI model…” when copying down the answer. 
  10. Write your notes on the inside of your glasses! They will never see it coming.  

ב‏הצלחה!

 

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